Such Unholy Books the Classics Are u_u

Listening to: Deliver Me by Enya <<<< (whatta fitting song u_u)

Such Unholy Books the Classics Are u_u

Breathing in exhaustion**
Ok, here we go...

Some time ago:

Through my fractional innocence and utter stupidity, I decided, since I was an English Major, that before I graduate, I should have read at the very least, one classic novel.

The realization now, December 9, 2010, 12:25am:

IMBECILE! Yes, what a foolish thing to be conceived. You cannot punish me more than I have punished myself. For even when—at this very moment— I am typing these feelings, hoping for somebody to read it and be moved or sympathized by my agony, my soul is silently stabbing my heart. I am so late in the game. By now, I should have read most, if not all, the classics. One! I aimed to just read one! The masters of literature are laughing at me now, I’m sure of it. Send the Hydra, Griffins and Sirens to slaughter my ass, oh vengeful bards, for you have earned the right. Everything was slapped to my face yesterday afternoon, when my I first had my lesson with the new teacher.

What happened December 8, 2010, about 2:00-4:00PM?

God, overlook this little blunder of mine, the blunder which stretched for a year and had made its dazzling revenge upon me at said time. 1:45, I was walking towards school, sparing myself a few more puffs of smoke before finally entering the premises. Hand sanitizer, check! Perfume to hide the stench, check! Candy for my nicotine breath, check! I had to be perfect. It was the subject I’ve waited for so long. A new teacher was going to teach us. Could she live up to my expectations? For a had a great literature teacher before her who, in the noblest sense, politely refused the chance to teach us and calmly explained her decision. I consider her one of my greatest teachers; that much is true. She doesn’t disappoint. This new teacher wouldn’t even compare, I prejudiced. What a slap on my face!!!!

2:00, I promptly enter. First in the class, I tell her I’m here. She asks to kindly shoo away the students on the consultation area. I should point out that in my course, AB-ENGLISH, there are only three of us. Yes, rare species. Going extinct next year, I sincerely hope. So, there are no official classrooms for us. Instead, we are taught through a kind of conversational, master’s-degree-like fashion. Convenient, preferable, as the three of us were a little anti-social. Moving on. We start the class with only me, her, and a Chinese foreign exchange student, the other two late, and soon shall I find out that one of them absent. “So, the subject is The Novel”, she says in her sweet, feminine voice. She teaches us the basics: Novel definition, characteristics and elements, genres: nothing we don’t already know. Then the crunch starts, dear God.

For full effect of what happened next, I shall now not use the paragraph form. To the left are what she said, the right, my responses and reactions:

“I assume you have read blah blah blah”<<< >>> I shake my head
“Oh, how about ...?” <<<>>>I shake my head
“What? How about ...?"<<< >>> I shake my head

Oh the humiliation!
But wait... there’s more!


“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head
“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head
“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

“How about...?”<<< >>>I shake my head

... Hundred fold.

u_u


Kill me now. Do it. Put a stick through my mouth and just roll me through the fire. “I assumed you knew!” “These are the basics!” “As English Major Students, you should know this” and the absolute worst, bold caption and all, drum roll*

“You should really read.”

I was like the dumb kid who doesn’t get it! In the class—listen!—in the class, I have never... NEVER been the dumb kid who doesn’t get it! (Okay, maybe current events and statistics, but still!) Worst of all were her gestures, the exclamations, the clasping of hands on her mouth!
 

In My Defence, weak it may be:

Foremost, I READ, OK?! It may be all the books she doesn’t prefer but I do. I saw her blank face when I introduced my favourite authors. Second, Classics are interminably boring! I’m not a literature major ok?! I just want to know a little grammar! Get my diploma and get the hell out of that God-forsaken school!

**She asks us to read Oliver Twist, gave us one week!

I ask around my other mentors, their reactions:

Professor 1: “Oh, it took me 2 years to read that. Ask for more time.”

Professor 2: “Yeah, that’s ok. I novel should only be read for three days, five max. There is a trick to reading a novel, you know”  <<< no, we don’t. Maybe she should’ve taught us that first, huh?

2 DAYS PAST:

I read half of it. I like to read classics now. @_@

I’m nearing the end. Let’s hope my professor never reads this.

--this for now--